Inside Paramnesia

9 Oct

I forget that I am human,

I forget that perfection is a disease.

That it can take us towards a level of inaccuracy about ourselves

That starves the soul

Of the water, it needs to grow.

 

It is easy to dwell on the things we do not have

It is easy to wish for the body of the gods

The lips of Aphrodite

The eyes of muses,

But do not get lost in these physical constraints

The world is constantly changing

One day this is good

And that is bad

And back again

So why waste the mental space with

The nonsensical?

Maybe we are trained to want the things we can’t have

Trained to constantly be unhappy

Buy this lipstick and you will cause envy

Spray this fragrance and you will be irresistible.

 

All these physical things

Are much more products of insanity.

Because, it’s not the product that makes you iressistable, beautiful, charismatic,

It is you, who encompasses all the

Attributes of the great.

 

So take a step back

Ask yourself does this matter?

It’s easy to get lost,

Its easy to think the ridiculous is what you want,

That’s why we must question our selves

Question where the motive comes from.

Because in the end, we are all human

All given the same gift,

Of a life no other being encompasses,

Cherish that which matters

That, which counts,

Forget the nonsense,

Forget the noise

Remember the music—

The beat called life.

Temporary Delirium

30 Sep

Living in her own head,

The girl with one earring

The one dancing with a song no one hears,

The one who stares aimlessly into the abyss

I look at her,

I see what she could be

All the possibilities

All the dreams,

Shooting past her

Will she grab one?

 

Crying in his alcoholic melancholy,

He sits where no one can see him,

He laugh’s where no one can hear

Can he catch a shooting star?

Make a wish?

Can he let go of every insecurity?

I look at him,

and wonder,

can he get out of his head?

 

 

Lost is a place,

it’s a time

it is one of those places in-between

it has no gender

no specifics to enter,

it simply is.

 

There is a choice

stay forever

or walk away,

get up,

make a move

speak less and do more of the things that will help make a better life.

 

 

We must run to the things that love us,

we must catch the wonders of the world

and never forget

that we are alive

and all this non-sense

all this background noise

trying to distract us

is irrelevant–doesn’t matter

hold on to what is real,

recognize the imaginary,

distinguish what can be good–

and what can lead you astray.

 

 

One day–all the girls and boys,

come to a point

where they can keep living in childhood delirium

or wake up,

and grow up,

the choice will always be there.

 

 

You will look back at that place called “lost”

and giggle at all the distractions

see how courage saved you,

you will remember that child,

but it’s not you anymore

–you are strong

you are powerful,

you see the right–

 

Never forget you can change!

and you decide

to make your circumstances temporary or permanent,

you decide every day,

if being lost in delirium

is really where you want to be.

 

Lost in the Traffic

26 Sep

I feel it in my bones,

deep into the core,

that this what I am meant to do.

 

Yet, all the noise get’s in my way,

all the traffic,it’s swimming around me,

it’s suffocating me,

I want to jump out,

but there’s something missing.

whats missing?

What piece have I forgotten?

 

They say deep need come’s from inside,

It’s a fire in your belly,

it’s a vibration of energy,

a pang of wonder every time.

 

So what do I have to do to get there?

I have an idea of who I want to be,

where I want to be,

I just don’t know what I need to do…

to get there…

It’s an inner strength

one I haven’t developed yet,

maybe it’s not about developing

maybe some have it

and others are just lost in chaos.

 

The traffic is too much

the lights, the honks,

the faces hidden,

the things I want not inside the car

but out there in the world….

 

One day I’ll step out of it,

say goodbye to my worries,

leave the car in the middle of the highway

and walk out,

into the sunlight,

and become

what it is,

I’ve always wanted.

Seeds of Illness

12 Sep

To say I am angry, is not enough.

Anger makes me an irrational animal,

I’ll bite you,

I’ll growl,

I’ll make you bleed!

 

The result, is worse for me than you.

 

I’ll look, at what I did and said—

and think, that wasn’t worth it.

Praying, wishing that it could be erased

just the event, let time create another memory for me,

one in which guilt won’t follow.

 

 

 

I question my anger. I question the source.

I ask what is your purpose?

I’ll find it has no aim

no goal.

 

It’s a temporary sickness.

The minds disease when unsure how to cope,

but most of all,

when there is not an inch of understanding,

 

How can we start thinking of solutions?

 

Maybe it’s about caring

about giving a shit

about putting it all together

and asking yourself

before anything else transpires

what does this mean to me?

What is going to happen, if I pull that trigger to my insanity?

Whats gonna be the result?

 

 

It’s no good.

It’s no solution,

it’s no answer.

 

Question your anger

question what it means,

and most of all–you must remember,

that anger starts as a seed…

 

Pluck it OUT of your mind,

throw it to the wind.

because anger is NOT REAL.

And it only becomes so–when you let it enter reality,

don’t let your anger become a physical manifestation,

mark it as useless.

 

 

Become the strong spirit you are.

Find it within yourself

that strength,

can come when

the illness of the mind

no longer exists.

Nervous Ruminations

7 Sep

 

A kiss or a cry, that’s how it is with this one. That’s why I don’t want to go tomorrow; I really don’t want to go. I am NOT going.

Can’t I just say I am sick? It doesn’t quite stick at a certain age. There are only so many days, one can hide.

It’s so much more relaxing, hiding I mean. I’ve been in hiding, for sooo long. I can’t even remember what the world looks like.

It’s so much easier, to stay here, in the passive life .Where no situation can embarrass or….hurt me.

I can imagine it now,

I’ll walk into that room and I’ll feel naked!

All my mistakes will bombard me, and I wish I had been smarter!
So what do I do? DO I go? Well what other option do I have, but to go?

I must do what must be done; I can smile at everyone, and say, hey it’s all good.

Act like it’s all fine, because if I act than I’ll feel….peace.

 

How do we learn, if we do not make a mistake? It’s all for the real world, the real life you want to achieve. All these mistakes all these problems, you really think you’ll ever make them again?
No, you won’t because you’re smart.

Because you learn from your mistakes.

And you will never ever make yourself uncomfortable.

 

So I’ll brace myself with good words

I’ll remember to smile,

And maybe, just maybe,

I’ll get through tomorrow. Let it come! I’ll be waiting.

Sweetest Taste

2 Sep

Have you ever tasted success?

Felt it on the tip of your tongue,

swirled in your mouth,

every taste bud jumping,

and then the great swallow,

of that wonderful wine, that beautiful dip,

down your throat into your body.

Success, feeds your organs,

gives them new energy,

a vibration clinging to the mind,

the accomplishment,

the goal is never too far

if one has the desire to taste the greatest wine of them all.

The State of In between

31 Aug

I was in that place, where only a few go.

Listen to the breath

feel it come in

hold it

the energy of life.

 

Who needs anything more,

for a while I had a problem,

focusing my attention.

And then I decided,

took a chance,

let me try it once

a few times.

 

And it took just that to get to that place

where time slows

literally ceases,

in such a way

that we become one.

 

mystical, no, just human.

 

Return to yourself,

you own yourself

you own this experience,

a spiritual being,

a being of the universe that is expressing itself

in one of the most beautiful forms this world has

the experience of humanity.

 

Once you get there,

you’ll have new eyes,

from which you’ll see the significance

of every object, every life form, and especially,

your own.